Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don’t know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn’t you. That isn’t you at all.
My life is made up of ‘I’m sorry’. I feel like I have to apologize to people, to things, to life itself. It’s like, ‘I’m sorry to be here’. I don’t want to disturb anyone.
The need to cut myself hasn’t been this strong in years. I’ve been clean. “Sober” if you want to call it. But these emotions, this confusion, hurt, helplessness, all that I’m feeling is too over whelming. I’ve been hurt plenty of different ways, never like this. Knife dug so deep into my heart, I know there’s no coming back from this. I know better than to kill myself now, but I almost hate her so much that I want to do anything to hurt her. I want to hurt her. I want her to feel this pain in her heart. What better way than if I wasn’t even here.. I know I only mean half of what I say but omg razors and knifes have never looked better.